If there is one day in a week we could pick that would just vanish, it would undoubtedly be Monday. We dread this day so much that we have all come up with the most hilarious, ridiculous and outrageous excuses to miss work on a Monday. If you think your excuses were funny, you have to look at this collection. Want to steal an excuse? Scroll down!
1. My trousers split on the way to work
2. I think my husband is cheating on me. I need to perform a sting operation
3. My dog accidently drank my beer and now I have to stay back home
4. Injured myself during sex and I can barely move
5. According to my astrologer, today would be bad day to step out of my house
6. My family surprised me with a fully sponsored vacation. It was very hard to refuse that.
7. My only spinster friend also got married. Need to mourn my singledom.
8. I got myself a big visible hickie and now I am embarrassed to show up in office
9. Got lucky last night, now I can’t remember where I am
10. My vehicle broke down and no one offered me a lift to work
11. Had an explosive diarrhea day.
12. I woke up and somehow thought today was Sunday
13. Harry Potter’s new book is launching today. I need to stand in the queue to get the limited edition
14. I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.
15. I am nursing a severe cold and thought it would be nice for the cold to take its natural course rather than see a doctor
16. Need to get a few tweaks and alterations to my plastic surgery
17. I drank my skull out last night. I guess the wine got the better of me
18. My cat messed with my alarm clock and I slept through the day
19. I was sitting in the bathroom and my feet and legs fell asleep. When I stood up, I fell and broke my ankle.
20. My 7-year-old said to me if she could bunk school why couldn’t I bunk work? That was such a touché moment
21. The weather forecast lady in my television said a terrible storm is expected
22. I needed a day off to hunt for another job
23. I dropped and broke my iPhone. I almost had a nervous breakdown
24. I watched a scary horror movie last night and I am still recuperating from the hallucinations
25. I couldn’t find anything to wear to office
26. Dog chewed on my formal shoe
27. I put my casserole in the oven and the oven caught fire
28. My hair dye went horribly wrong. I don’t want to show up like a hippie.
29. My dog made a face which almost meant it asked me to stay back at home today.
30. I ‘hate’ my job.